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“Have you ever thought… about what would happen if we had stayed together?”

I looked up at her, her eyes still looking as strong as they had the first time I had seen her. Since the last time I had seen her, she seemed to have cleaned up a little more. No longer was she the dark rocker girl with hair so many colours it was hard to count them all. She no longer had the black chipped nail polish and the crazed eyes that looked as if she had spent all night working on a new song. No. Now, only about three and a half months after our original break up after three years we were back, meeting our friends for dinner and she had traded her questionable hair for platinum blonde and her nails were a simple clear colour. More had changed, but that was all I had felt like describing. Both her and I had someone accompanying us that night. Our new relationships. I would never let her know how I felt like pulling my hair out after we broke up. But now, she was happily with a new man and from what I had heard he was very kind and, well, good in bed. That was important to Coty, despite the fact that when we first met she was all about saving herself for ‘the one’. Yes, she had a boy’s name. She liked to flaunt that too. Now, on the anniversary of our fourth year, our friends had decided to get us all together to hang out. I shook my hair from my face as my eyes met hers. I had stayed the same since the break up. She seemed to repeat her question with her eyes. I sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“You said yourself it was ending. You said that it seemed to be apparent to everyone else except for us that we were always fighting and never seemed happy.” I stated, my back rubbing against the fake brick. The Coty I had always known would have angrily demanded that the manager of this restaurant replaced the wall and put in a real one. But that was the old Coty and apparently she didn’t mind the wall now. The thought of this Coty, clad in a long navy blue trench coat and a multi-coloured beret on the cool colour side of the colour spectrum that I‘m sure was in some celebrity gossip magazine, arguing for something real caused my lips to curl into a bit of a smile.

“What’s so funny?” She asked, clearly offended. I looked up at her, confused as I stood up to maintain my power.

“What do you mean by that? I don’t think this is funny if that’s what you’re implying. I just had an amusing thought.” I stated, sounding a bit to bitter. I prayed to what ever may be out there that Coty wouldn’t call me on the bitterness in my voice. Unfortunately, good luck had never really been on my side and soon Coty’s expression had turned into that of anger.

“You’re an asshole. I mean, you were an asshole before, but you were stand-able. Now you’re just a dickweed.” She growled. Leave it to Coty to pull out the most mature insults. I sighed, staring down at her.

“Coty. You know that I didn’t mean to sound that angered. I was just surprised from your question.” I stated, “And I gave you an answer. Shouldn’t you be grateful we’re talking?”

Coty’s mouth dropped open. Wrong choice of words. Shit. This was the point in which the wall of protection would come up that Coty so often dreaded. I would have to try to pull through with out it this time. I couldn’t risk offending her again… well… I could but then it wouldn’t work out that well for me. Coty’s cheeks flushed red. Something that always happened when she was upset. It was one of the cutest things that she did and it always made me feel light and fluffy inside no matter what the discussion was about.

“Grateful we’re talking? You were the one who dumped me, remember? Or was your head shoved too far up your ass to remember?” She yelled. Now the restaurant was silent as everyone stared at me.

“Shit. Now you’ve got everyone looking at us… Coty-” I hissed, smiling weakly at the families and friends just grabbing a bite to eat. But Coty was going to make it worse. She always found a way to make it worse. Her hands clenched into fists as she stomped her foot.

“No, you shut the fuck up! You’ve always been like this! It’s always ‘shut up Coty!’ or ‘stop making me look bad Coty!’. Well, you know what? I don’t care if you look bad. I hate you Nikkolas!” She screamed. That was me. Nikko. I looked around, getting annoyed at the people who just watched us and the girl who was completely making an ass of herself. Not me. Her. I gripped her elbow suddenly, pulling her outside. As we walked, embracing the cold harshness of winter, it made me think of the first time I met her. The first time Coty and I had dated. That first snow fall of that year… I shook the thought out of my head as I turned to her, holding her arms.

“Coty, listen. You have to stop this. We’re both twenty one now. We shouldn’t be acting like we’re… well we’re seventeen.” I growled. Coty shook her head, the tears beginning to fall. oh shit. The tears. I hated it when she pulled this move. When we were going out, I always accused her of cheating when she started crying. Then she would laugh and we would make up. But now, I wasn’t sure if that was going to work.

“Nikko. You- you don’t understand… I can’t explain it to you because… Do you even remember what it was like? Do you remember all of the fighting we had done? Do you remember the first time we met?” She sobbed. I paused, staring straight into her eyes. Those sad, sparkling blue eyes surrounded in black and powder blue. I thought back to that first day. The day that started this downward spiral. Soon, I could smell the snow as the image came back into my head clearly.